Your relationship with money might be shaped before you even take your first breath. That’s thanks to the chromosomes you inherit in the ovarian lottery.
Research suggests men and women often think about money in fundamentally different ways. One academic paper found that men tend to view money as a symbol of power and success, while women more often associate it with security or emotional significance.
Much of the conversation around gender and money rightfully focuses on women, who face persistent income inequality and longer life expectancies. Women’s XX chromosomes come with financial headwinds that deserve attention. But what about those with the Y chromosome?
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The Y rule of retirement
Men face their own challenges when it comes to money and retirement, many of which go unaddressed. And let’s be honest, facing them head-on isn’t always our strong suit.
With so many unspoken pressures shaping how men handle money, purpose and aging, it makes sense to have a framework that speaks directly to those issues. Enter the “Y rule of retirement.”
The Y rule means recognizing that men have different risks to account for in retirement — physical, emotional, behavioral — and adjusting your plan accordingly.
If you’ve got a Y chromosome, here are some of the retirement planning realities you’ll want to face before they sneak up on you.
When bravado backfires in retirement
Men may have the edge in sports, but in investing, the stats tell a different story.
Multiple studies have found that women tend to outperform men when it comes to investment returns. One analysis from Warwick Business School of 2,800 U.K. investors found that women outperformed men by an impressive 1.8% annually.
Why? Women trade less frequently, avoid risky trends and stay the course during market volatility. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to chase performance, try to outsmart the market and go it alone.
FINRA data suggests one culprit is a high degree of unearned confidence: 71% of men rate their investment knowledge as strong, compared to 54% of women. That confidence may also make men less likely to seek help. In a Wells Fargo study, just under 37% of men reported working with a financial adviser, compared to 50% of women.
“Men often treat retirement planning like another contest,” explains Patrick Huey, owner and principal advisor of Victory Independent Planning. “There’s a focus on returns, outsmarting the market and going solo — all fuel for bigger risks.”
In his experience, Huey has seen many men reach out only after something has gone wrong. “The lone-wolf mindset can work, until the journey gets rough and the need for guidance kicks in,” he says.
To counter the risks of overconfidence or chasing performance, advisers recommend sticking to foundational strategies like diversification. But more importantly, they say the smartest move is knowing when to ask for help.
“Asking for help could be perceived as a sign of weakness or ‘unmasculine,’” says Bill Shafransky, CFP® and senior wealth advisor at Moneco Advisors. “But seeking financial help could sometimes save them hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of their retirement.”
Health is wealth for men in retirement
Before passing away, Apple founder Steve Jobs expressed regret about delaying cancer surgery when his chances of survival were higher. He avoided the procedure out of a desire not to be “cut open,” opting instead for alternative treatments.
That hesitation reflects a common male tendency: avoiding the doctor.
It’s one of those stereotypes rooted in truth. Studies consistently show men are more likely to skip regular checkups and delay treatment.
Unsurprisingly, men face higher rates of heart disease, stroke and hypertension. Their average life expectancy trails women’s by nearly six years.
Robert Laura, VSP Individual Vision Plans Thought Leader, warns that the physical decline men experience can also have deep emotional effects. He calls it “sensory retirement,” the idea that a man’s senses (hearing, vision, energy) retire along with him. “This can reduce a person’s desire to socialize and go out, causing further isolation or feelings of irrelevance,” he says.
All of this underscores the importance of integrating health and longevity into financial planning, finance professionals say, especially when it comes to supporting a surviving spouse.
John Power, CFP® and financial advisor at Power Plans, notes that many men claim Social Security early out of fear they won’t live long enough to benefit from waiting. “But in most cases, delaying until 70 and drawing from investments first is better for the surviving spouse,” he says. “A male spouse, given the facts, should be thinking not about how much they can collect, but how well their wife will be cared for.”
That care includes organizing finances. Couples often have old 401(k)s, IRAs and accounts scattered across institutions. “If you’re the one managing the household finances, simplifying the number of accounts can make a world of difference for your spouse later on,” says Benjamin Daniels, CFP® and financial planner at Outsourced Planning.
Men still often take the lead on long-term financial decisions. A UBS survey found seven in 10 men handle investing and estate planning, compared to less than half of women.
That’s why Daniels urges documenting where assets are held, how bills are paid, key contacts and account passwords.
He also recommends survivorship-friendly tools, such as joint accounts, transfer-on-death designations and updated beneficiaries. And don’t overlook the “widow’s penalty,” when a surviving spouse faces higher taxes due to filing status. Roth conversions or strategic withdrawals can help reduce the impact, he says.
However, sometimes the wife has bigger and more complex benefits, says Power. So, men need to prepare for the opposite scenario, too.
And when men do lose a spouse? It’s often not the finances that hurt most, but the loss of the one close connection they have left.
(Image credit: Getty Images)
Redefining your retired self
Buddy comedies never show what happens after the credits roll, when life and friends move on, and identity becomes harder to define.
For many men, that’s the reality of retirement. Thirty years ago, 55% of men had at least six close friends. Today, only 27% do, and 15% have none at all.
And without the daily structure, sense of purpose and social connection that work provides, the transition into retirement can trigger loneliness, aimlessness and even depression. Studies show older men are particularly at risk of social isolation due to smaller social networks and a reluctance to seek support.
That void can lead to emotional struggles and sometimes harmful coping behaviors, including overspending or substance abuse.
Laura encourages men to rethink how they introduce themselves. He says it helps men to “have two or three different ways to define and introduce themselves instead of just saying ‘retired.’ This might be through volunteer work, starting a business or even saying you’re now focused on learning about something new like history, national parks or retirement itself. Approaching it this way can make conversations more interesting and help build a new sense of purpose.”
The science is clear: a strong sense of purpose contributes to a happier, healthier retirement.
Speaking to men, Huey says, “Your drive to compete got you far. But in retirement, the real mark of preparation is humility — seeking advice, planning for all realities and staying connected to others. Even the best explorers kept a map in their pack. There’s no shame in checking it before you head into new territory.”
The Y chromosome might shape biology, but it doesn’t have to dictate behavior. In that way, the Y rule of retirement isn’t about being male, but rather, being mindful and intentional when planning for a life that still feels meaningful.